back in studio April s 2011 notes

What I am doing

Start by listening… just breath and blood and whatever else
No ‘exercises’ unless body/animal wants them

I find not so much pain
As blocks

Then yawn and stretch takes me through them
Then I hit back of neck big time
Some pain, mostly heat and block feeling and power center feeling

Today got very feral very fast… distractions:

When I realize I have to pee… the animal just wants to pee right then and there
But have to get up and go to bathroom… nuisance
(do I set up a potty?) NO
I want to have to be human and maintain what I can on the way to the bathroom

I can hold a lot of thought while in it
I can have music but cannot change a lot- keep on repeat
Feel like I land in my own asanas.. places that feel like healing stretches and they are organically full of breath… rich and satisfying

Other distraction

This-
Wanting to write about it as I am doing it… not wanting to lose the info/process/discoveries

This feels so right… and scriptural Writings come, they just pour in…
In the animal place… 'realm of being' somehow so close… and yet so feral…

It seems inevitable that this work would make me fit in an animal way… but it will be so slow as I am so out of shape but hopefully
Real and long lasting- time will tell

As I walk to bathroom I notice already my posture has shifted- wide open chest (rare for me)
And I cannot quite figure out how to walk… like something has shifted my weight, my pelvis so I can’t walk in the old way…

So hard for me to keep gravity awareness in head/neck/eyes

Still getting explosive left head turn
Sometimes I follow and sometimes I release
With breath
Not sure which way to go
Can take the impulse and follow it, tends to go same physical pattern every time and end up dropped over extended legs

Not feeling exhausting but now that I am done I do feel throbbing in back of neck
And heat

Wish I could find out about this…
Cranial sacral people?
Alexander?

Feel length in my arms as when Kate/Jessica worked with Jennifer Scanlon

Feel arch (god one) on back a la Denise Clarke

‘sense of a tail’, that opens my chest that I have felt before

feel like I can get back to a certain awareness much faster than I expected or in the past
and can come and go in and out more easily