exercise 1

I am sending a series of text exercises out to a list of people on e mail

I want to see what the results are for different people...

here is the first exercise...
let me know if you try it, what happens for you

Lie down
Feel breath and blood and gravity till you are really able to hold all three
(even if it means juggling somewhat- but as much simultaneously as you can)

then engage muscularly…

1) engage around the spine in some way
2) engage from the hands

1) If you are ab;e to maintain blood/breath/gravity and muscular skeletal awareness (even if it becomes more juggling than simultaneous) tell me what happens or what you feel… in general

2) when you engage around the spine, versus the hands
is it the same? different

3) if different- can you describe it?

4) what difficulties did you encounter?

-at the level of the primary action of holding breath, gravity and blood
- at the level of adding muscular awareness
-
5) what other things do you think may have influenced the results?

watching animals

tried watching animals on youtube to answer some questions

the most helpful was watching Gorillas... four legged ness and how it relates to my own four leggedness...
BUT not really able to learn much from videos

watched a chicadee earlier today- and thought- too hard to translate bird body to mine AND YET, I learned more from watching that bird than the videos
something transfers real body to real body that does not transfer over video- this is VERY important... re: why performance? especially at this time when so few go to live performance and everyone watches movies...

from chicadee I watched- the fast movements that feel like the fast - what feels like- nervous system twitching - that I still am not sure is healthy or not.... the immediate connection of breath to movement and sound... all one... must watch more animals...
trips to zoo this summer!!

Healthy Animal May 10/11 notes

A good day in the studio
So hard to get started…
Trying to find rigour while being gentle and tender with myself and really listening to my body

I managed two sessions… one about 1.5 hrs and another about 1:15
No singing yet today, sounding though and more integrated that before… still a million miles to go on that front

Longest yet in one day
But really able to stay with the listening
I also find I can get back in (today anyway) really easily after a distraction
(running out of power on ipod or bathroom break…)

there were people next door that I could hear so I decided to work with the ipod on
then the battery started to die so I put the music on quietly

music:
first session Sigur Ros (can’t use things with text)
second ‘creature’ playlist… text mostly compatible

once I was in the work I was finding less explosive nervous system twitching- not sure why
maybe cause I am going so slowly
breath is VERY deep… it has to be
it all feels like WORK… although comes naturally
there are many moments of pain- but feels like good massage pain
and always has lots of breath, relaxed face or HUNGRY face
lots of mouth open, stretching
feels like I am really in the yawning work
fully, like never before
again- it does feel like if I were to keep doing this it would lead to a very healthy body
just really slow- as I am so out of shape- BUT feels… deep and permanent
and healing/healthy- we shall just have to be patient and see, this is not the quick fix route!
It is hard work
after the first session I laid in Cranial Sacral still point pose… with balls and legs elevated and prayed… this was perfect… and I must remember how animals stop and really rest and what I see in my students- that they MUST stop and really have moments with gravity or it gets pushed, dead ends, etc… what does it get exactly? Good question

WATCH STUDENTS WHEN THEY DO NOT DROP INTO GRAVITY

I know that when they do have a good relationship with gravity- it goes deeper, stays real and affects the observer more
And more range of emotion… I can still feel how gravity is tough for me… skin ok, breath, yes, muscular skeletal yes, blood- varies… when I do feel it – it can be very intense- almost too much (heart especially) capillaries in upper body fairly accessible

So much tension in my body- what I am feeling feels accurate and real- like I am really in me- so not always easy… at times I can feel the knowledge in my body from the movement history… other times I feel my present dead body zone- both hard
Former feels lost and long away and never fully recoverable with this new healthier perspective, the other feels so real and insurmountable… but these are just my ‘mind ‘reflecting/responding to the felt sense
really inside this place when I do not look at myself externally with minds eye or real eyes
I feel like an animal- alive, healthy, even beautiful-
It is disorienting to come back to my view of myself… which is ‘old, fat, ugly’
Because internally it does not feel that way
Although I can feel the fat- it feels like – too many sweaters on my body that get in the way…
Hard to not get goal oriented… less of it today though
Not sure if this is good or bad- but trying to stay in the moment with the felt sense

Questions from today:

How does breathing really affect adrenaline- the details – I know it slows production of- but how?

Joshua Tree National Park Day 6 Oct 14/10

I didn't walk today... I worked and read... I read The Priceless Pearl, written by Bahiyyih Khanum about Shoghi Effendi's life- a critical person in Baha'i history and a writer who I admire more than any other I think... the book brings me to tears regularly and I am in awe at all he accomplished...

I am feeling better... my healthy animal is healthier and I feel energy again in my body and health even! This was the right thing to do- I may not know yet what I am going to do next exactly, but I am clearer and I have one more day of gorgeous desert before heading home where the challenge will be to keep up some kind of healthy physical/prayer practice for myself, as the two are so linked for me now... High park may see a lot of me!